Rosie Goldenshimmer the stupid Mary Sue
by MyWordsAreMyInsanity
Summary: This is a really random story that I did at like two in the morning about a perfect Mary sue. Edits and comments done by my friend Claire. Yup.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, I'm doing a CHB mary-Sue story... edits and commentary done by my friend Claire! She's hilarious and sarcastic :)**

**Disclaimer: Percy Jackson series is not mine. I don't own it. Rick Riordan does.**

Rosie Goldenshimmer **What a nice name... **was walking along a beautiful sunlit path **Seriously? Might as well say she was "frolicking" **when all of a sudden a horrible monster ran at her **Aah, oh no! What is this said horrible monster?**. She screamed and almost fainted **Typical **but she had enough sense to run away **You're still a prissy blonde**. Then she noticed a stick on the ground and picked it up to defend herself **A freaking stick? Are you serious? That's not defense, that's stupidity.** But she didn't have to because two people **Annabeth and Percy **came running at the monster with sharp swords. The blonde girl ran in, stabbed the monster, then ran back out, while the other guy with black hair ran at the other side and stabbed him. **What the heck is this monster doing **But then as the blonde girl tried to stab it again, she fell, and her sword flew away **when did it grow wings? **and fell right next to Rosie. **How convenient. ** They looked like they were in trouble so Rosie picked it up and ran at the monster **Stupid. Go and hide with your fellow dumb blondes. When did you learn to sword fight?**. She stabbed it in the gut, then launched herself over its head. **Launched? Is she a freaking gymnast? I would have fallen on my face and eaten by the freaking monster that's about to freaking eat her.** While it spun around trying to find her, **She's right behind you, idiot. If you were really spinning, you'd see her. ** Rosie gave it a final stab and it disintegrated. The two people turned to her and said "Wow, you were amazing!" **What.** Rosie smiled hugely and said, "Thanks so much, I really didn't try." **Pfft, I'm sure you didn't. If you were really not trying, you'd be dead, okay? **The two people traveled with her a bit, when they got to a camp place. **A camp place?** Everyone looked at her **cause she's pretty**. No one knew who she was. But they thought she was pretty **of course **and looked like an important person, so they looked at her. **I'm looking at my computer. It's not a pretty and important person. Um, okay...** The black-haired guy, who introduced himself as Percy, took her to a centaur named Chiron, **How the heck does she know what a centaur is? And why is she not freaking out that a guy has horse legs and stuff? **who told her about Camp Half Blood, as it was called. He said she could stay there forever. **I'd be freaking out. ** Rosie smiled. "Thanks, I really like it here, **you've been there ten seconds **but why would I need to stay here forever?" The centaur replied, "Because you're a child of an Olympian god and you could be in danger. ***le gasp* Nooo, she was just attacked by a freakin monster, that's not dangerous at all!**" Rosie was afraid but she stayed calm **How. **and nodded. "So who is my parent?" she asked. The blonde girl from earlier, Annabeth, said, "You'll find out soon enough, let's go eat dinner." Rosie sat with the Hermes cabin, because she was unclaimed, but that changed. All of a sudden, everyone gasped and looked at her **again**. She saw that she had a glowing golden symbol of something **Real smart. "Something." **above her head. **Um, how can she see it if it's on top of her head?** "All hail Rosie Goldenshimmer, daughter of Hera." **"All hail"? Is she a freaking queen or something? She's been there five minutes. **Rosie was so confused again, but she just followed it. Everyone smiled at her and she smiled back **like the shrub she is**. The guy from earlier, Percy, led her to her cabin, where it was empty. Rosie asked why, and Percy responded, "There hasn't been a demigod child of Hera at camp, so no one has lived here."

"Ohhh, okay," Rosie said **because apparently she knows everything and isn't freaking out that there are gods and stuff in the world**. She was special here, just like everywhere else **Way to be modest**. She flipped her golden sunlight colored hair and blinked her stunning green eyes at Percy. "So are you and Annabeth together?" she asked. **Way to be tactical.**

Percy nodded. "I guess so?" he shrugged. **You're freaking dating her. "You guess so"? ** Rosie stepped closer to him and smiled hugely her wonderful golden smile. "But I really like you, so…" Percy was too stunned to do anything as she randomly went and kissed him. **Well, that escalated quickly...** Then she kicked him out, but he'd be back tomorrow. **You sure about that?** She decided to sleep then, and she layed down in bed. The bed was so comfortable, she fell right asleep. ** Yeah, because a bed that hasn't been touched in fifty-plus years and is covered in dust and spider webs is a freakin feather bed.**

**This is stupid.**

Shut up.

**No.**


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Rosie woke up perfectly rested. **Of course.** She went outside and everything was beautiful. Birds were chirping, flowers were waving in the breeze, and there were horses, or pegasi, flying through the air. **Horses were flying and she wasn't worried? Is she on drugs? Oh, and this scene makes me want to vomit. **Rosie went down to breakfast and ate some toast. **Surprised she ate at all. Models don't eat, right? **Everyone gathered around her and gushed about how pretty she was **Ugh. **and how lucky she was to be claimed by Hera. ** Well, Hera's sacred animal is the cow, if you catch my drift… ** "Thanks, everyone!" Rosie smiled. "I am really lucky! I had no idea I would come here. I'd like to thank the people who saved me though. And I am so grateful!" **And I'd like to thank the Academy... *sniff sniff* *cue fake tears* **Although people wanted to stay and talk to her, she went off to the sword arena, where Percy, Annabeth, and a bunch of other people were standing there. **Just standing? I thought this was the sword arena. They should be sword fighting. Are they waiting for her? Eh, probably, if they're like everyone else. **"Come join us," said Percy, waving to Rosie. **He only likes you because you kissed him. Cheater. **Rosie skipped **She skipped? **over to join them. She grabbed a sword on her way. **Sounds so casual, like, "I went to the mall but on my way I picked up a few hand grenades, hehe…" **"I want to learn to fight!" she exclaimed. **You just fought a stupid monster. Doesn't that mean you claim to know about sword fighting? **She was then paired with a really tall blonde guy. **And then she kissed him, and then while he was looking at her, she stabbed him in the gut. The end. **Rosie was scared, but she prepared herself. When the guy thrust his sword at her, **she ran and hid **she thrust back, and they did this exchange a few times. **That is quite possibly the worst way to describe a sword fight. Ever. **Then, the guy got distracted by something **her prettiness **and Rosie took her chance. She slammed her sword into his knees, and he fell down. She placed her foot firmly on his chest, showing that she won. **Ohh Kay….? **"How was that?" she asked. Everyone rushed up to her **again **and exclaimed about how good she was **again. **And Rosie just smiled and blushed modestly, thanking them for complementing her **again. **Then, she got really hungry after her fight and went to the dining pavilion. **Fish please, models don't eat. **And for the rest of the day, she explored the camp. She went to the arts and crafts house, where she watched some Apollo kids make a satyr statue, and then she made a crown out of flowers **Told you they think she's a queen. I swear, this is getting so dumb. **But then she heard a loud sound. It was the sound of a summoning. **Of what? Demon spirits? **She ran to the pavilion just in time to hear Chiron explain Capture the Flag. She was super excited **and then squealed like a little girl and flipped her hair and jumped up and down but she still looked purty. **She got to be on the same team as Percy. It was the Ares cabin, along with her, Percy, and the Demeter, Aphrodite, Dionysius, Hephaestus, and other small cabin kids, versus the Athena cabin leading the Apollo and Hermes cabin. **That feels very uneven. **Rosie was given a very important mission. **Of course she was. **She was to sneak onto enemy territory and capture the red team's flag for her team, the blue team. **Is everyone here an idiot? They're giving the most important job to an airhead who's been there for not even a day! **Rosie smiled. She knew she could do it. **Sounds like those elementary school motivational stickers. "You can do it!" "Persevere!" and shiz. **She crept along the woods, luckily not meeting anyone. **Like they're purposefully avoiding her. This game is freaking fixed. She's going to win no matter what. **When she got to the **sunlit **meadow, **she frolicked in the grass and smiled beautifully **she saw the flack sticking out of a pile of boulders. She saw a girl guarding it. **Are you kidding me? They have only one person to guard the most important part of the game? **Rosie charged at the girl with her sword, and saw that it was the blonde girl, Annabeth. She almost let her go but for some reason felt like she needed to fight her. **It's a catfight. Rosie likes Percy so she's killing off the competition. **Their swords clashed, and in an impressive move Rosie pushed Annabeth to the ground, knocking her out. **Apparently, Annabeth is a bigger wimp than this idiot. She's found like a hundred monsters, and she gets knocked out after falling down? **Rosie grabbed the flag and ran. She finally crossed the border **of Mexico. Illegally. **to see her teammates cheering for her. The red flag changed into a silver one for Hera's cabin. Rosie smiled **AGAIN? **She had never been happier.

**This chapter was full of fluff and shiz.**

No it wasn't. Oh wait… yes it was.

**Finally we agree on something.**


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone! It's Val, and also Claire. Thanks for reading the story! I'm sorry I haven't updated… I kinda forgot about the story, and then I got the flu… *ashamed face*

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! They let me know that people are actually reading it, and it motivates me to write more and it makes me super happy! Now… let's get to the story!

**Here we go again… another chapter. Great. Let's get this over with.**

It was another sunny day **Another one?! **at Camp Half Blood. Rosie was sword-fighting with her new friend Daisy Flowershimmer **Seriously, why are all of the names stupid? "Daisy Flowershimmer"? Are you kidding? **when she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was Percy, the guy from the other day. He told her that Chiron had requested for her to meet him at the Big House, alone. **Well, we all know what's going to happen now… if you know what I mean… **She ran up to the Big House and opened the door to see Chiron standing there. **Isn't there a hallway? How can she just open the door and be there already? Oh, and isn't he a horse? How is he just "standing there"? **"Rosie, I have an important job for you." He said grimly. **I need you to clean the bathrooms, they're getting disgusting. **"I need you to go on a quest to retrieve a special demigod." **Don't the satyrs do that? **"Okay, what do I do?" Rosie said calmly. **How is she taking all of this so calmly? **Chiron sighed. "First," he said, "I need you to go up to the attic and get a prophecy from the Oracle." **Oh, good, this is the part where she will probably go insane from seeing the Oracle. I never liked her. **Rosie nodded and headed towards the attic. It sounded easy. **Yeah, sure. This is making it sound so easy, like a shopping list. "First, pick up a bottle of prophecy. Then, pick up two accomplices. Then, head on over to the other side of the country, grab a person, and stroll on back. That'll be seventeen-fifty. Would you like a gift receipt?" **The stairs creaked as she climbed them. Soon, she was standing in the dusty attic. There was a lot of stuff, but she noticed most the old mummy lady in the corner. She slowly walked towards the mummy, when it came to life, glowing green. **Yay, my favorite part! Then, she screamed, fainted, went insane from seeing the mummy, and died. The end. **Rosie braved her fear and stayed in place while the mummy spoke,

"Three demigods will do their best, to reach the goal at the end of the quest, to find another and bring her home, but without the key, there is eternal roam." **That didn't even make sense. **"What does that mean?" Rosie thought, but she still went back down, where Chiron was standing with Percy and Annabeth, who were going to be her companions. **What happened to Daisy Natureshimmer or whatever the heck her name was? **And Rosie was to lead the quest. **No questions asked? What about someone more experienced, like Annabeth, who's been there pretty much for her whole freaking life? **Chiron told them that the demigod they were bringing back lived in Las Vegas, Nevada. **Kind of a strange place for a kid to live… I think I know where this is going. They're gonna have fun gambling in the casino, am I right? **They immediately hopped in a car, where some guy drove them out to the city. **Some guy? **They got out of the car and took a subway out to Maryland, where they took a train to Virginia, took a plane to Ohio, and then finally took another plane to Las Vegas. **Where are they getting the money for this? **They then went to a really nice hotel with a huge room. There were three king-sized beds, one for each of them. ***le gasp* Noooo, there's three beds, three of them, are there going to be enough beds? **They all quickly fell asleep, and tomorrow, the quest would really begin. **So they stayed in a five-star hotel, took five planes, and did nothing but travel, eat, and sleep. What an amazing quest. Let's hope the action will begin soon, for everyone's sakes.**

**And that's all for now. Please, end poor Valerie's suffering, and review! Please? –puppy eyes-**

**I just don't know what to say for any of this. It's all so dumb, there are no words. Sincerely, Claire, apparently the only smart one in this story.**

Hey, I'm smart!

**Sure. Sure you are…**

Fine, then. You don't get any cookies!


End file.
